He is planning to adjust my medications, in the hopes that I will produce less, but better quality eggs. This adjustment will mean an extra month of injections, but it will be worth it if I can have a better outcome. I was so concerned that he would say that there is something wrong with me that he didn't catch before, but he seems to think that I have no risk factors and that the medications I was taking were probably not ideal for me. Apparently, IVF is very trial and error and sometimes it takes a cycle for the doctors to figure out what will work best for a particular patient.
We're a little concerned about financing another cycle, but our doctor did offer us $1,000 off the next cycle and we won't have to pay for any testing during our next cycle. He wants me to wait until I have one more period, but he says I can do an egg retrieval around the beginning of January, if I would like. He told me I didn't need to rush into anything, but I think I would feel better if I tried again as soon as I am able.
After leaving the doctor today, I felt great. I almost felt like myself again, like I had reason to hope. And I do think I have reason to hope, but as the day went on, I realized that I still have a long road ahead of me. I still need to be poked with needles and have lots of blood draws and doctor appointments and spend more money on medical expenses than I ever thought possible. And I have no guarantee that I will get pregnant or hold my baby in my arms when it's done. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time and be cautiously optimistic.
This past Saturday night, I went to a Ben Folds concert with my mom and my husband. I've enjoyed his music for a long time, but didn't know some of his more recent music. One of his songs seemed particularly relevant for what I'm going through now so I'm going to post it here.
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