Fake It Until I Make It

The past couple weeks have been difficult, but productive weeks in the IVF process.  On the Friday after Thanksgiving, I went to the hospital to have some more labs done.  The lab tech took several vials of my blood to test for anything that could contribute to recurrent pregnancy loss.  Obviously, I've only had one loss, but I think I would feel better if I pass all these tests.  I haven't gotten the results yet.  

I've also made an appointment with an acupuncturist who does "fertility enhancement sessions."  My first appointment is on Monday.  Acupuncture is recommended for IVF patients, but I didn't do it the first time around because it's one more thing that insurance doesn't cover.  But I decided to try it this time around because it's not only supposed to help with embryo implantation, but also with stress.  I could really use some stress relief these days.  One amusing aspect of my acupuncture sessions is that the sessions are located in my old office. The hospital has turned my old office into a holistic health center.  Hopefully the place looks completely different and won't remind me of all the work I need to get done.:)  

I also scheduled an appointment with a counselor.  She specializes in infancy loss and infertility and is a nurse, as well as a counselor.  I spoke to her briefly on the phone and she asked me about why I was seeing her and when I explained my situation to her, she said, "So every month when you have your period, it's like another loss for you."  It was so nice to talk to someone who obviously gets it.  She wasn't able to get me in to see her until the week of the 15th.  

This holiday season has been kind of difficult for me, but I had decided over Thanksgiving break that I was going to "fake it until I make it."  Although I wasn't feeling it, I put up a Christmas tree and started Christmas shopping and I've found that I'm still getting joy out of finding the perfect gift for a friend or family member and I'm still loving my Call the Midwife Christmas and Sarah McLachlan Christmas music. I'm glad that despite the difficulties of this season of my life, I can find things that I enjoy.

I'm really looking forward to my upcoming Christmas break.  Hopefully, I will be able to have off from Christmas Eve until January 5.  It may even be longer, depending on when my egg retrieval and transfer happen.  Work has been very busy lately. I'm not sure that I'll be taking days off for the next couple weeks because we're so busy.  It's not ideal for me, but hopefully looking forward to the break will get me through the next couple weeks.  I have to be at work at 6 am on Monday, if that tells you anything about how busy we are lately.

I hope you all are enjoying this holiday season and are able to find joy amid the craziness of this time of year.